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weeding...

The troubles I'm having with a) wedding planning and b) moving 800 miles away are actually fairly similar. They both involve too much.

For the wedding, it's a matter of wanting to invite too many people - or more accurately, realizing that our families are so large that before we've even gotten beyond the people we absolutely must invite, we've hit something like 145 people. Ouch.

The moving involves similar amounts of too much-ness. There's really only so much stuff that a person can feasibly and economically move 800 some odd miles. And I have approximately 80 times that amount of stuff. This is a far cry from when I moved to Indiana, to be sure.

As it stands, I am trying to weed through all of my things and decide what to and not to keep. Once that's done I will pack up all of the things I am not keeping and call the Salvation Army, as they will bring a truck over and take it all away. My current known list of things I am not keeping includes:

A futon (and possibly a couch)
Approximately 200 books (more if I can bear it, I suppose)
2 big black garbage bags of perfectly good (and in many cases unworn) clothes - although I expect this number to double or triple before I'm done
A dining room table
A (functional!) player piano
Possibly a computer desk
A printer
Two boxes of assorted knick knacks and curios (and purses, apparently)

I am three months away from moving, and I feel terribly overwhelmed at this point. Not awesome.

That being said - warriorartist, I have three of your books and need to return them! I am currently in the process of returning any-and-everything that I have borrowed in addition to getting rid of everything.

Sadly, I'm learning to be very harsh with keeping/not keeping things/books/etc. Not fun, but necessary, I guess...

Well that was unexpected...

I haven't posted here in almost two months - not that this is anything new. Almost no one posts anymore, and it makes me sad. But I figure, I have news, so I might as well write. Or something.

Given that finding a transfer within my company to either South Carolina or North Carolina has proved basically impossible, I've sort of put that on hold. I'm still looking, but I've come to the realization that (especially in this job market) most employers aren't really considering out of state applicants, due to the fact that most of them have plenty of local applicants. Which, while understandable, is also extremely frustrating. Even within my own company, it was much like pulling teeth to get the hiring managers I spoke to to realize that I was 100% serious about relocating, and had absolutely no problems doing so as soon as possible.

Cue jumping off a cliff, metaphorically speaking.

Nathan and I are getting married on April 23 30, 2011, and I will be moving to South Carolina a few short days after that.

More to come later, probably.
Things are a bit stressful - both with work/living situation and with N., although honestly I believe that will sort itself out. There's some stuff going on on his end that's stressful for both of us, but we're hoping it'll work out in the end.

Haven't heard back from the Charlotte job, and to be honest I'm fairly frustrated. It's a long story, but entirely unimportant. I suppose it suffices to say that I'm just tired of not knowing, and would vastly prefer actually being able to plan for things. Ah well.

yargh!

So, I haven't written here in um. A really long time, actually. And I need to have SOMEWHERE to write, because my brain is on the verge of imploding.

Since last time!

I took a leave of absence from work to deal with brain-stuff, Jake and I broke up, I went BACK to work and turned everything around and am doing quite well now, I'm seeing someone who is absolutely...amazing, my roomie is moving out October 1st, and I've applied for a position within my company in Charlotte, NC in the hopes of moving down south ASAP.

It's really the last bit that has my brain imploding, quite frankly.

I know I don't want to be in CT anymore - I haven't for a few years now. I hate winter (after Christmas at any rate), the people are...well, nothing against CT, but I just don't feel at home here, I guess. And given that I've lived here for almost my entire life, I'd say I've given it an incredibly fair shot.

So it's not that I'm afraid of moving, or afraid of leaving CT. I know I'll miss my family, but the benefits of moving - cost of living, climate, being nearer to N, being in a position I think I will enjoy more than my current position.

The biggest downside...okay, so there are two. First, I obviously of course am anxious about whether or not I'll get the job. Second, if I DO get the job, they want to fill it as soon as possible, which means my time frame on moving - which was originally four months or so - goes down to probably six weeks, maybe? I honestly don't know, and it's a big move, and it's making me batty.

I've tried to organize and pack what I can, but I need to do things like get boxes, and really spend a LOT of time organizing and going through things and throwing stuff out and just paring down as much as I can - figuring out what's important, and what I can just get rid of.

This whole situation is hard, draining, and stressful. Not because I don't want to move or am not emotionally prepared to do so, but because I'm so far from where I want to be - in terms of packing, etc. - that I'm terrified it won't all get done in time. And tonight, there's really nothing else I CAN do, because I'm out of boxes and utterly overwhelmed.

And on top of that I'll also have to do the whole finding an apartment thing which is terrifying simply because it's so far away and plane tickets aren't cheap and yikes!

Amazingly, I'm happier than I have been in a very, very long time.
The worst part is feeling like I won't be believed...and having a small part of my brain disbelieve, as well.

Jan. 17th, 2010

Haven't posted in...forever, basically - but honestly, things have just been so busy that I haven't had time. Maybe I'll have more time to write about how things are later this week - I hope so. I miss writing; keeping a record of things in my life.

Tonight's just a little hard because Jake was supposed to be here until tomorrow morning, but due to the earthquake in Haiti has to be at work tomorrow at 6am to help the evacuees, and so had to leave tonight. This wouldn't really be an issue (and...isn't really an issue), except we didn't find out until 7:15pm, so...all of our plans for the evening kind of went out the window. Not that we had anything huge and exciting planned, but...at the very least I thought I'd be falling asleep in a non-empty bed tonight, and am trying to re-orient.

Which means finishing the piece of pie I started (but did not finish) around 4pm, drinking a glass of milk, curling up with my teddy bear, and reading The Big Snow, which is my favorite kid's book, and of which Jake bought me a copy for Christmas.

With any luck, the combination of the above, and the sleeping pills, will conspire to put me to sleep.
I keep thinking about posting and then I forget because I am forgetful like that.

Life is...I don't know, it's okay, I guess. Personal life is good but crazy and sometimes a little bit rough. Work is awful. School is on break at the moment, so that's okay.

I wish...I had more to say that was productive, but things are just a little haywire. My stepdad's health isn't so great, which is scary as hell. My grandmother's up for Christmas, which is awesome. My brother and his wife moved to Pennsylvania which is pretty awful. I live in their house now, which is awesome. My dad moved to New Hampshire, which is just weird for me in general. Aaron and I don't even talk anymore, which is kind of sad, considering we'd been friends for like 5 to 6 years prior to ever dating. The last email I sent him said that I was sorry things turned out the way they did between us (i.e. us not being friends anymore), and he wrote back that he didn't know what I was talking about because he's still my friend. I'm sorry, but if you don't talk to me, you're not my friend. And I don't mean...those of you with whom I don't talk frequently. That's different. I mean...someone who used to talk to me every day simply deciding that radio silence is the best option and blocking all potential forms of communication. That's not a friendly act, and it's a little bit sad, really.


My medications are working, I guess, at least a little bit. Not fully, I don't think, because...I just don't seem to be able to deal with a lot all at once. Or maybe it's just that everything's been so stressful for so long that I finally hit a point where it's hard to be optimistic and happy.

And it's not that there aren't things I'm happy with; there definitely are. Things with Jacob are pretty awesome, albeit sometimes confusing/scary/difficult. I love where I live now; I'm glad I don't have neighbors above or right next to me. I love my car. I'm glad my grandmother's visiting, and I know I'm a fairly lucky/fortunate individual. I just have a hard time getting over being stressed out and feeling like the good things will disappear on me, and realizing that a lot of what I have came at a cost I wasn't...ready for, I guess.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

So...I have a lot to be thankful for this year, really. I'm thankful I got into grad school, I'm thankful I'm living in the house I'm living in. I'm thankful for my parents and my family. I'm thankful for my boyfriend, and for the fact that we FINALLY got around to dating. I'm thankful for the fact that overall, life is pretty decent. I may not really enjoy or like my job, but otherwise, most things are pretty good. And...hopefully within the next couple of years I'll be able to find a job in the field I DO want to be in. And I'm definitely thankful for all of my friends - even if I don't talk to a lot of you even close to as much as I should/wish I did, I still love you all, and you make my life better. :)

I'm also thankful that my mom didn't go out on a date with the serial killer who asked her out when she was younger! Just because...that'd be a little bit creepy. Still, the fact that he asked her out just confirms my belief that the women in my family are like crazy-men magnets!! Just takes awhile for us to find a decently sane one. ;)

Now, off to move a futon into the new house and crash out on the couch while watching Star Trek with the roomie, because both of us are pretty close to food comas. Oy vey, way too much food.
So this weekend was the last weekend my brother and Kristine will live in CT. I'm going to miss them, but luckily, they'll visit and such - they're setting up a bedroom in the basement of the hosue so that they can stay with us when they're up. And my brother also suggested we come down to PA and go snowmobiling etc. this winter. Sweet!

This weekend was amazing, despite the fact that I ended up getting sick on Saturday and had to go to the doctor on Sunday. Jacob kind of forced me to take my temperature, and I was running a bit of a fever; couldn't seem to stop coughing, and started getting a serious sinus headache. So now I'm all loaded up with antibiotics and cough medicine, and while I'm not 100% or anything, I'm definitely feeling better than I did yesterday. I think I passed said cold off to Steve, as he and my mom stopped by to help fix the doorframe (which V's cat had...destroyed...) and he woke up yesterday feeling pretty awful, apparently. :/ I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping I didn't give it to anyone else (especially Jake).

I have to admit, it's really hard to get out of bed when you wake up curled up with someone, and they don't have to get up, and can roll over to go back to sleep. I have a feeling I'm doing to start disliking every other Monday morning/Sunday night for awhile, but I can deal with that. I have things here that I need to finish and do for myself, and... well, that's pretty much it for now, I suppose.

Here's to uh...a good week! And I move on Saturday, so here's to a smooth...moving process. Or something.